Random thoughts

- Former New England Patriots Linebacker Teddy Bruschi looks Asian, but he isn't Asian, there's something sneaky about that. I mean if he actually were Asian then it wouldn't be sneaky at all, but something about his features makes you wonder what sort of genetic slight of hand the gods are trying to pull churning out guys like that, doesn't it?


- Whenever I see a commercial for one of those insipid Kardashian family shows, I always have a brief thought flash through my head, "This is what the end of the Roman Empire must have looked like in high definition."


- I'm glad South Park fell out of the mainstream vacuum long ago, if it hadn't it could never have become such a reliable source for biting and truthful social commentary, thanks Matt and Trey.


- Why would somebody take an anti depressant if one of the side effects was "Suicidal tendencies"? Somebody please get back to me on that one.


- After watching so many razor, alcohol, car, cologne and body spray commercials, it makes one realize just how desperate the modern male is to appeal to the opposite sex, it must be such a turn off for them.


-Sports talk radio is a sad place. A place where grown men take time out of their day to write down scripted diatribes about sports that they hope will get them attention, then proceed to sit on hold for hours on end so that the hack radio host will give them 90 seconds to read their "take".
They don't get paid, they don't get made and they most certainly do not get laid, they just want validation that the sports teams they have sublet their potential identities to and the grade school level, childish and illiterate trash talk they bandy about are good and by extension, so are they.
Kinda makes you wonder why god doesn't inspect the genetic material more carefully before sending these trouser stains out into our world to clog up the radio waves.


- When they were performing experiments and tests for the atomic bomb, Dr. Jack Parsons, being a member of the Aleister Crowley's church of Satan, would recite incantations and enchantments to bless the work.
I can't help but wonder what his poor, confused colleagues thought while they stood around in silence, awkwardly waiting for him to finish praying to Satan, so they could play god.


- I think conjoined twins are especially difficult to deal with whenever they wake up on the wrong side of the bed, don't you?


- Do you ever see something that doesn't immediately make sense and then after you consider it for a moment, you realize it's just really fucking stupid?


- If I were God #1;

I would sit all of the most heinous and ruthless dictators and warlords in history down at a table and make them play a game of Risk, just to satisfy my curiosity.


- I wonder if communist Russia or China have ever paused for a moment of confusion in regard to our love affair with a great big fat fuck in a red suit. I'm sure by the time they get to the elves and flying reindeer, they have moved on.


- During the late 90's and early 2000's, comedian Will Sasso spent many sketches portraying a big fat Steven Segal on the show mad TV. I find it most amusing now though, in a time where Steven Segal looks more like Will Sasso pretending to be Steven Segal, I do love it when art imitates life.


- Finally today, let me say that I have found that nothing makes me want to hate, persecute and burn somebody at the stake more than these stupid, fluff brained, nonsensical stickers...

Seriously, just looking at it now makes me want to hurl the biggest rock I can find into my monitor.
This is idealistic, borderline hippie nonsense that has not and will not ever resonate with our species, we are not wired to coexist, we are wired to ensure our individual survival or at best tribal survival.
We are built to take out the fuck wearing the dumb ass hat next to us, not to coexist with him, stop pretending to be more evolved because you are not.
The closest thing there is to a conversational "Dead End" sign when talking with somebody is when they tell you that they "are accepting of every body's beliefs and ideals." or "tolerant of all lifestyle choices.".
Just because you have an open mind does not mean the opening is not narrow and unflinchingly rigid and these people generally have a projected archetype of what you are and do based solely on little details about you such as your religion or your "lifestyle choice", which I hate saying if you cannot tell.
In all things, be wary of anyone who allows those words to fall out of their face when talking to you.


With that, I must close this piece for today, until next time, I wish you well, ta-ta, bon voyage, take care and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.